Mims:
What’s piques your curiosity? This is ‘Curiosity Killed The…’ I’m your host Mims, and in each episode, I’ll interview someone about their passion. Join me as we get to know them, explore their world through the lens of curiosity and enrich our own lives by finding out what excites and delights them.
Mims:
Welcome, inquisitive minds. I’m excited to share the first episode with you, especially as we have an absolutely cracking guest joining us…Crystal Lubrikunt. Crystal is an international Drag Performer, advocate, storyteller and self-proclaimed ‘talentless man in a wig’. I’m so honoured to have Crystal as my first guest. We will go so much further than the average interview about track. In fact, you won’t hear one tip about tucking! Instead, we will get into the full range of Crystal’s wisdom on Drag, mental health, the upcoming Justice for Gaga digital show, which Crystal has been working on with Herr, the queen, as well as diversity, inclusivity and, of course, curiosity.
Mims:
Welcome to the podcast. (Crystal: Thanks for Having me) We’re going to try and not kill you with curiosity. It’s a pleasure to have you.
Crystal Lubrikunt:
I love the word cuiosity, I think it’s great.
Mims:
Do you? What does it mean to you? What is curiosity about?
Crystal Lubrikunt:
Breaking the binary I think. Especially for people that were born in certain areas at certain times. I think it’s always leant towards such authenticity, because you’re curious about something, it’s like basically looking into a keyhole of passion.
Mims:
Oh I love that, a keyhole of passion!
Crystal Lubrikunt:
When you’re curious about something that is like showing like a raw interest and that something you can’t buy (and it’s something you can’t…), that’s coming naturally to you, that’s coming from your soul. So that’s why I think it’s great.
Mims:
We’re not going into your story, starting drag and becoming the performer you are today. People can use Google if they’re curious! I recommend the YouTube video, which you did, looking back at your first performances, I don’t think I could do. I don’t think I could look back at all that!
Crystal Lubrikunt:
It was honestly quite tough. But I’ve said it to a friend of mine. They message me saying ‘It’s so weird seeing such old videos of you’ And I was like, it was great. But it was tough because there were a lot of hardships both and learning…difficult times occurred within those years that I showed. I completely commend anyone that’s willing to go back and either laugh at themselves or celebrate their old self and the growth, because I think – especially in the drag community, people are so afraid to give in to their newness and their freshness and they’re willing to want to learn and want to thrive. And they disguise it so much with…borderline delusion, which is a drag necessity. It’s like a rite of passage when you start drag, as you just have this delusion that you are the only person doing what you’re doing at that time and you are going to be the next Aquaria or the next Bob and thrive at anything that you say or do. Until you then realise that things aren’t always what they seem. Yet the delusion is…it’s real! Like I remember being very, very deluded when I started drag!
Mims:
It’s a bit of a coping mechanism, isn’t that? Like they say,fake it till you make it!
Mims:
Do you feel that doing drag helps you to get to know yourself better in terms of learning about yourself in an in-depth way?
Crystal Lubrikunt:
Absolutely. I definitely find therapy in performing. I definitely find therapy in using my drag performance to excel at different parts of my natural being to amplify them and put them to the forefront and feed fromthe attention,
Mims:
Thinking about drag and its appeal, it’s such a misconception that it’s a new phenomena. There’s such a rich history. What do you think it is about drag that’s so appealing to people, and why do you think it’s particularly appealing at the moment? What do you think attracts people to drag?
Crystal Lubrikunt:
I think the rule book is burned at the stake. I think when people see and they’re within the drag space, which does sometimes lead to problematic behaviours and social commentary, but for the most part, it makes people feel released. It makes people feel they have nothing to prove, that the space that they are within is a welcome space, that it’s fun, a space where you can congregate. You can be yourself. You can be authentic self. And you can laugh, you can share and you can celebrate campery and fun and fabulousness. And that has been a common trait throughout history, whether it is the joyousness and the unity of a pride event, whether it is the unity of pride riot, whether it is unity of people coming together and watching misogynistic playwright, a play starring all men as the female roles – Shakespeare. It’s always been a performance. I think people love and thrive off of that exchange of the energy, that a performer can give to anyone. I mean, it’s why people stop on the street and watch a busker, it’s because they want that energy. They want to give themselves that little boost, of the entertainment. And that’s what it comes down to, its the entertainment…entertainment and obviously the power. There’s so much power in drag, the unapologeticness, the resilience that comes from someone standing there challenging the social standards, whether it be… absolutely today, still a very powerful thing to do. It may be so much more socially accepted, but it’s still in many parts of the world – such a powerful thing to do – is to get against drag and perform for an audience or just be an authentic part of yourself. I think it’s appealing because it is become so much of pop culture now. It’s that crave of relentless joy, silliness, fabulousness that is larger than life characters living this somewhat fictional life that they don’t feel is real. So until it is confronted in a negative way, then you realise, ‘well, I know these are real people’ And I think people just crave and enjoy that empowered exchange.
Mims:
I think there’s such a breadth of what can be done with drag. I mean, there is that pure, joyful silliness. I’ve been screaming with absolute delight. And then there’s just such elevated art. There’s layers of commentary on top of each other. And I’ve been close to tears. I mean, I think what comes to mind is ‘Smoke and Mirrors.’ Sasha Velour does something I’ve not seen there before. And the way of conveying that message, but within the framework of Drag…I think there’s so much scope there for what can be done with it.
Crystal Lubrikunt:
The…drag itself is its entire own universe. When you go and watch something like Sasha Velour, ‘Smoke and Mirrors’ or Dickie Beau’s ‘Blackouts’ and you’re sat in a space watching an art form of drag that is being so heavily respected by every single person in the room, that everyone is quiet, engaging with such a level of maturity and engagement, that makes it all the more – even though the performance is so passionate – it makes it even all the more passionate and emotional because you never thought that drag could reach – and I never thought that it could reach – like a high level of appreciation that it can fill out these humongous spaces and be engaged with so respectfully. Not with people running up and down, going to the toilet. Not people drunk and stumbling at the front of the stage. That is part of the club life, and sometimes it celebrated and sometimes it’s joyous. But in terms of a serious performance, I think it’s joyous that people have that experience and realise that. Wait a minute! This can be taken into a way different light and really respects in such a way as well.
Mims:
What do you think the biggest misconceptions about drag are?
I think it all comes down to someone’s own ignorance. I’ve had discussions with family members and people of different times and whatnot discussing drag. Though we have a shared history in politics and in support and in shared spaces, and a lot of the trans community do perform in drag. A lot of ignorant words are used, as if Drag is being transgender and it’s not. It’s very different. Being trans is an identity. It is a human, whereas drag is a larger than life caricature, an extension of someone’s self. And I think that commentary, though it grows tired, I always find the time and energy to translate and try and make it as easy to consume as possible, because a lot of times, that you’re asked about it, it’s by people and from people that just have never understood it. And most of the time they want to understand. But I definitely think the misconception is the battle of identities. And I think it’s important to be able to separate the two because one is an identity, one is a human being that is a person, and the other is a caricature and an extension of oneself.
Mims:
And to put transness in that same box with caricatures is dehumanising to trans people (Crystal: Mmm! 100%). And then there’s other school of thinking, which is drag is just for men dressing as women, which is so narrow minded. I say to people that if you watch Drag Race and think that is representative of all of drag, it’s like thinking that singing ‘Happy Birthday’ is representative of all music. (Crystal: Yes!) It’s just so much more. And I think it’s having that curiosity about, Ru Paul’s Drag Race and be like you were saying earlier, the keyhole of curiosity. (Crystal: Yeah!) Go through that and have a look at what else there is out there.
Crystal Lubrikunt:
I think one thing I’m training myself to do is: for a long time when someone would only talk within a Drag Race encyclopedia, I would just get frustrated and so tired and exhausted. But I’m trying to translate it into excitement of showing that person the rest of drag. Drag Race has done incredible, incredible things. And I will forever sit, and whenever I ever get the chance. I’ve been in the same room, but I’ve never had a chance to speak to Ru Paul. But I will thank him. But I will raise my list of concerns because it is just so important and it is so backhanded at the same time. He has capitalised, he has profited, and he has done incredible things as a queer black man in drag, and is so commendable and so powerful. And again, I completely respect what he does. Our entire history, queer history, some of our most iconic moments that we celebrate pride for have been off of the backs of trans people. And if you can at the very least, allow the trans community onto a platform that could sell them in such a celebrated way and allow their journeys to be celebrated in such a way because Drag Race is already so huge and so celebrated. People can still tell me you only just reached this country, it’s only reached this country. I’m like, that’s cool and everything, and it’s amazing that people are still slowly getting drag into their life. But in so many places, drag race has been accepted so commercially that it’s just: ‘have you watched Drag Race last week’ that you are denying an entire community that has been a part of queer spaces for our entire existence. They’ve been a part of us their entire existence, just like they’ve been a part of the human race for our entire existence. And then colonialism happened and made everyone have anti trans mentalities. It’s bewildering. And when you put it in a sentence that the show has greenlit people pausing their transitions or going back on their transitions to be a part of the show, to the point that they will use tokenism with Gia Gunn on All Stars. It’s just like, come on!!! To catch wind the producers are telling people, ‘Oh, we are working on it.’ Yeah, well, walk the walk! There is an entire community of people, people outside of the Cis spectrum, let alone this wide spectrum that are being faced with their own hardships. That kid may be completely flipped on a positive 180 if they were just allowed the opportunity to go and thrive on this amazing platform that I respect and appreciate to have been created.
Mims:
You can’t be something that you can’t see. So if you think about all those young queer kids at the moment who want to attain and lack role models in the commercial space, what a shame that they’re been denied those role models.When the solution seems to be there.
Crystal Lubrikunt:
The solution has been there and it’s been there for so long. And if they sit there and say, as many corporate folk will do, if it ain’t broke, we’re not gonna fix it. If you’re telling me you’re trying to figure out a way, if you’re telling me that that is difficult. Yet trying to find challenge ideas like getting drag queens to walk down a runway in a soup can, and you can’t for a second give time to think about the inclusivity and the diversity issues in your casting, is wild. And in total, they’ve had four television shows come out of this brand, so you’ve got Drag Race, All Stars, Drag U and then they’ve got the Celebrity Drag Race. In all four, you haven’t cast like….not the people that are coming in and getting made over…
Mims:
And having the excuse of if someone presents as a CIS female, then they’ve got an unnatural advantage, it’s such a lazy excuse.
Crystal Lubrikunt:
It’s absolutely poor. All you have to do is go back to your…any single person on this planet can relate to this…go back to your six year old self. Go back to the playground and go back to that time when everyone’s going that person’s birthday party and you can’t go because you weren’t invited. Relate to that now and remember how heartbroken you felt and then relate that to your current livelihoods and your current work place of work, it’s ridiculous. And relating Drag Race to this digital era of drag. I find people that are doing these digital drag shows that are just Cis and white, the entire cast. Just like a full white cast. I’m like, we are in a digital age where you can cast anyone around the world! And yet this is all occurring. It’s, it’s wild. And what I can only hope for is that people that are of the Ru Paul’s Drag Race calibre, people like Bob, Peppermint, Vixen, Detox, that have been outspoken and raise these concerns using their platforms. I hope more of that happens from the people that need to. There’s far too much silence!
Mims:
One of my mottos in life is behaviour you walk past, is behaviour you accept.
Crystal Lubrikunt:
Hundred per cent, that is a great Mantra! Phenomenal! I will really remember that one!
Mims:
But you can’t identify where that behaviour is, or what it is if you’re not curious about going, actually what is that experience? Apart from what we’re being presented with on a plate. And how does it feel for that kid not invited to the birthday party?
Crystal Lubrikunt:
I think for a lot of people that walk past behaviour, people have seen so many people go down in flames, whether it be for standing up or for committing a problematic offence. People are so scared to do the right thing but do it well. And I think that’s something that I know I definitely have found myself in that kind of situation, that mindset. But, you just ask people! Ask questions! There’s numerous people I go to and I ask them, how is this? What is this? What can I? And you figure it out. That’s how you can, that’s how you go about life. The more you get it and lock it away, the more it’s going to boil.
Mims:
And you have that safe space of discussion. Whereas I think so many people are like, oh, I can’t say that I might offend someone. But actually the danger is so much. If you don’t ask someone, then you continue with a narrow viewpoint.
Crystal Lubrikunt:
And I totally believe in the whole if it feels wrong, you’re like, should I shouldn’t I? Most probably shouldn’t because I think everyone should do everything with 100 percent. I want to do this because then once it’s done, you know that it’s come from 100 percent of them.
Mims:
We are going to take a quick break there. Stay tuned for exciting insight behind the upcoming #Justice4Gaga event, what it feels like to be part of a digital Drag show. We get deep into the realms of mental health and wellbeing and find out what part of Crystal’s life curiosity has killed. While we take a break, I’m going to share this week’s Curiosity of the Week. This will be something that has excited, delighted, intrigued or bewildered me, about which I encourage you to share your thoughts, either on the podcast Facebook page, which can be accessed at http://www.facebook.com/podcastcuriosity and Instagram, where I’m @mims.curiositypod Don’t forget to like and follow the podcast to stay up to date with exciting guest announcements. There’s an interview I’m recording tomorrow with someone that I can’t wait to speak to. This week’s Curiosity is a story which blows my mind. In 1939, a UC Berkeley student called George Dantzig arrived late for class. There were two math problems on the blackboard, so the student wrote them down, assuming they were homework. A few days later, he handed in the completed solutions. Believing they were an overdue assignment. He apologised for the late submission, claiming that they were, and I quote, a little harder than usual. Fast forward six weeks and the student was visited by his professor. The problems he had solved were two of the most famous unsolved problems in statistics. The professor had excitedly prepared one of the problems for publication in a maths journal. A year later, Dantzig was worried about a thesis topic. His professor shrugged and told him to wrap the two problems in a binder and they would be accepted as the thesis. If this scene sounds familiar, it’s because it was used as the introductory scene in the movie Good Will Hunting…and that’s this week’s Curiosity.
Mims:
Throughout lockdown, we’ve seen digital drag shows pop up and some of them have been amazing just in collecting people who are geographically apart in one place and having that diverse cast. And you’ve got Justice for Gaga that you’ve put on with Herr…
Crystal Lubrikunt:
Oh, Herr, is a lovely, lovely Drag Queen based in London. I actually first met her in 2015 where we competed on a pageant together where she used to be formerly known as Cherry Popper. And then she did a big reveal one year where it removed the C and the Y and the popper. And that’s how it became Herr
Crystal Lubrikunt:
We’ve had this idea for a very long time, way before lockdown, we’re talking years! To do a night that celebrates the underrated works of an artist or of a collective. We just had this discussion when lockdown started. Take inspiration from people like Biqtch Puddin, who have completely led this era of digital drag deserves all the credit for everyone’s Digital Drag because they’ve led the battalion. And though it is a digital drag show, it is something that just has this essence of like this is real. As much as it’s digital, it’s very real. And the lineup that we have so far, we’ve announced people of all walks of life from different parts of the globe, whether you’ve got trans icon Kat Wilderness will join us. AFAB icon Tete Bang, New York songstress Lagoona Bloo. An amazing drag king I had the privilege of working with and discovering over the past twelve months Beau Jangles, who is this fully realised character from an old time. When you go and see Beau Jangles, it’s like stepping into a time machine. It’s so phenomenal what they do. And they’re character’s so fully realised. And then you’ve got some amazing Drags! We’re so, so excited about this lineup we’ve got. We have Groundskeeper Fanny which one of my favourite Drag names of all time.
Mims:
I love that. That is amazing!
Crystal Lubrikunt:
Groundskeeper Fanny is a Scottish queen. They’re fabulous. We also have London’s very own Baby, who is very entertaining. Yeah, we’re currently piecin together the show. And once again, if you’re a Lady Gaga fan, your taste buds shall be tantalised! We’ve made a rule to have not one single or hit song allowed in people’s material. That’s all her celebrated underrated songs. It’s very much going to be, not so much a show, more a film cabaret event for her. And I’ve really worked hard on trying to make this as far from digital drag show as possible to make it like a movie.
Mims:
That’s so exciting! And when is it taken place and how can people find it?
Crystal Lubrikunt:
It’s on Saturday, May 30th, on http://twitch.tv/justiceforevents It is at 9p.m. British Standard Time, which will be 4p.m. Eastern Standard Time and 1:00 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. And it’s a £5 suggested donations between the entire cast.
Mims:
And I’m already like when it’s the 30th. Can it be now? Do you find producing events or performing a lot different digitally? Or is it like comparing apples and pears.
Crystal Lubrikunt:
Ahaha! (in a cockney accent ‘Apples and pears!’
Crystal Lubrikunt:
I definitely feel there is an ability to switch on because once I’m in drag, it’s done. That’s definitely a lot of moments with digital drag when you’re at home and you’re by yourself, that you do find the muggle part of you there and you just have the moment of like, oh, a bit of exhaustion. I found myself more exhausted after sitting and recording than I have if I’ve done 2 hours and a half on the stage, because it’s just like, you’re so happy and you’re just like it’s good endorphins. Whereas the digital drag, I think people really need to be careful with their mental health because if you burn yourself out, you are within your haven. So there’s no place you can go.
Mims:
No, you’re not walking back out of that, elevator
Crystal Lubrikunt:
No, you’re not getting in that Uber you know, you have the time to separate the two. And I think it’s important to especially symbolising places of work, like having a desk. When I’m sat at my desk, I’m doing something to do with Drag or makeup or editing. Whereas when I’m in my living room or my kitchen or I’m on my bed and it’s, you know what I mean, symbolising things, making actions, having a wash,
Mims:
I showered especially for you! I hope you appreciate the clean hair!
Crystal Lubrikunt:
Oh yeah, the head and shoulders is coming through!
Crystal Lubrikunt:
Digital Drag does have its quirks that are very much a relative of the natural surge you get from performing in live Drag, but live drag is live drag. And I miss it so much!
Mims:
What do you miss the most about it?
Crystal Lubrikunt:
I miss just doing an hour show for an audience with a microphone. I’ve been totally against…and I don’t ever respond to them and I don’t ever write comments on any of them regarding this opinion. But when people have done posts saying ‘I was meant to do this today,’ I’ve not done any of it because it’s just inviting pessimism and it’s inviting bad energy. Whereas I would rather just live. I know that those times will happen again. And I could sit and list so many different things that I had, that I was excited about. Know that you have a place, and know that there are people out there, that I feel for the people that were like getting ready to do competitions, starting out. And they really, like, hit something like especially people in the workplace, no matter what your what workplace is, people that are starting jobs, starting contracts, stuff like that. I feel for those people. Like, just be happy! I watched a livestream just before this interview. My friend was during a piano show and they said, as difficult as the scenario is, as horrendous as this scenario is and horrific as it has been…the mindset of being on lockdown and waking up and going about your day without any discipline, depending on your situation. There’s gonna come a time when we will sit, when we get ready for a show, we’re getting ready for work when we’re out and about end of day, ‘Ughhh I wish I could go back to lockdown.’ Try and use this time to the best of your ability. And that does mean if you need to rest, then sleep this entire time. No one is judging you, apart from the FBI getting in your laptop camera.
Mims:
Oh I know! I talk to him sometimes like, ‘This for you MI6 man!’ One thing I really admire about you is your mental health videos and speaking out about mental health and being an advocate for honesty and openness and transparency for mental health. Where did that come from? Was that a conscious decision made to go…this is something I’m going to talk about? Or did it just happen organically?
Crystal Lubrikunt:
It definitely came from performin, because in October 2016, I had a very nasty body shut down that led to me being diagnosed with PTSD. And that then developed into episodes of panic and anxiety. Through learning and developing a shield of armour against those occurrences and those episodes, I learned that it would affect my drag because I was doing a show that was every Sunday or any show. I couldn’t predict, when my body with my brain would be affected. And no matter what, medication does help, listen to your doctors. There are some times when even the medication wasn’t holding up and there was a point…there were numerous points where I would…before I’d go on stage. I just get this wave of dread. Of just helplessness and hopelessness. There was one time what it stayed with me throughout the whole show and stayed with me through to the end. And that was when I was like, ‘Nah, I need to talk about this, otherwise it’s not gonna go. And I sort of sat on it and I thought on it for a very, very long time. I think for an entire year it wasn’t until November 2017 where I was listening to a song, I discovered 21 Pilots and their song ‘Stressed Out’. And then that led me to watch a lot of their other music videos and there was a time when I would sit at my laptop and just talk to people or whatever. And I wanted music playing. Once I did it and what I did is I put 21 Pilots album, ‘Blurry Face’ on, and you listen all the way through, and I remember just being like, Oh this is really good! And then I put ‘Vessel’ on, their previous album. And I just discovered so much music that was so inspiring and I could relate to so much, because it’s songwriting initially and does thrive through his words on mental health commentary and just human beings in his commentary.
Crystal Lubrikunt:
And there’s a song that I had and I was just blown away and I wouldn’t stop listening to it. And it was ‘Kitchen Sink’ And it was a song that just the lyrics are so simple. There’s a point in the song where it reaches its climax, and building up to the climax he’s screaming, ‘Leave me alone. Leave me alone’ And then finally screams at the top of his voice. ‘Don’t leave me alone.’ And that’s so relatable as a human being, not being able to talk to people. And because you have this passion within you that you’re like, I’m going to try my best to articulate how I’m feeling, but I just don’t know if you’re gonna understand. And I don’t think I’m going to be able to articulate in the way that you going to be able to get how I’m feeling. And there are numerous points with my personal life like being able to talk to my Mum about, I was hardly talking to my Mum about it until I broke down talking about it. And it was amidst this time of me discovering this song. And I remember, like, after a few listens, I said, I need to do this.
Crystal Lubrikunt:
And then the amazing cabaret event and a phenomenal inclusive event called Bar Wotever came around. And I just thought, I want to do this. So I did a month’s residency that I did every Tuesday. I was on my first week and each week I’m going to dedicate five to 10 minutes of the show to talk from my head and my heart and perform something that I would think that most other places would be like. What were you doing? This is bumming me out.No matter what it will be. And ‘Kitchen Sink’ was the first one. It was the first time I ever spoke on stage. And I’m so grateful to have that footage of that show because it’s so raw. And since I have had people be like, oh, I want to see ‘Kitchen Sink’I think I performed it five times, it takes a lot out of me. And it just takes me back and it currently still thrives like mental health issues, they don’t go away. They stay with you. They’re like a devil on the shoulder and sometimes you’re like ‘haha’ and sometimes you like flicking him off.
Crystal Lubrikunt:
My discussions with mental health started then. And has just flowed, ever so naturally in my natural passion for talking about it. I definitely may be hard on myself. I’m not sure, but I think I’m being honest. I definitely think I’ve slacked a lot in the past 12 months or so. I definitely thrived through 2017 through till 2019, but I hit a wall at the start of 2019. I’m slowly but surely getting back into wanting to delve back into that part of me and talk more about it and how I’ll get back into that. But I think I just need to make sure that I’m 100% comfortable with that before I present it confidently.
Mims:
It takes a lot to go into that vulnerable part of yourself and thinking about hitting walls. I mean, you wouldn’t realise where the peaks are unless you’ve got some of those valleys. And I think sometimes you to celebrate those as well.
Crystal Lubrikunt:
Oh you’re full of so many good one liners today! Jesus! I’m like ‘Ah! That’s phenomenal. That’s great.’
Mims:
You have those moments where you’re not as productive as you were or things aren’t going great. And then you have to have the contrast to see. I think it’s important to recognise those moments, as much as they feel awful during the time. But then you can start climbing up the slope again
Crystal Lubrikunt:
There was a point where I experienced a lot of self-evaluation. Ever since then, I’m still stuck in that box because it’s a box that I want to get out of, but I know that I will only get it out of it if I find closure from it. And it is highly related to Cancel Culture and with online navigations and being able to speak confidently about my vulnerability and being as present as I can and as informed as I can whilst talking about social media and cancel culture.
Mims:
It’s a blessing and a curse, all in one, great you can connect with people. And I have thoughts about council culture. I mean, if someone is in inverted commas, ‘cancelled’, then there’s no journey left. I wish I could cancel Cancel Culture! It’s different to holding someone accountable, making sure that you don’t accept behaviours which are negative. But to just go ‘Ok,they’re cancelled now’that’s something else.
Crystal Lubrikunt:
I wish people translated, recycled their energy from Cancel Culture to asking for betterness, apologies, an open mind, clear vision rather than just going, ‘Nah they’re done.’ Otherwise you’re no different to the Bible basher telling you that you are forced to go to hell and that I will not approve of what your life is. And the likelihood, and I’ve seen it with my own eyes, that person that’s commentating or tweeting or sending you messages, telling you this, telling you that, with their pictures or their bios or who they actually support and who they cheer on without the knowledge that the people that they love and support may also have slipped up or may also have had moments of vulnerability. A moment. So where they’ve gone. Hold up. I messed up. There’s a lot of double standards in Cancel Culture. I think people actually choose because they want a reason to dislike someone. They want a reason to get that energy out of their system. But it’s where and how you choose to express that energy.
Crystal Lubrikunt:
I think the most powerful way to express anger and angry energy is through passion, writing something beautiful out of your own anger and doing something beautiful out of your anger. I had a psychologist for 18 months, and I learned a lot about self discovery, self-evaluation and changed my life. So I just think people need simply go in on themselves and self-evaluate and ask themselves the questions and put themselves in these positions and get perspective.
Mims:
Your favourite word. Which I absolutely love, is integrity.
Crystal Lubrikunt:
Ah Integrity!
Mims:
Ah, it just says so much! What does that mean to you?
Crystal Lubrikunt:
Because I couldn’t pick like two words. My favourite phrase is artistic integrity, because it’s something that I crave and it’s something that I try my best to withhold in everything that I do. For me, integrity is resilience is passion. It is being able to stand your ground and create your own discipline and having the integrity to do that all. It just has a lot of strength, a lot of power, a lot of passion. And it’s something that I feel I’ve always had, regardless of any decision I’ve ever made, whether it be a good one or a bad one or any great move or false move, I think I’ve always been 100% strong in how I’ve stood in that area. I’ve always done it with either an air of unapologeticness or an air of confidence, even if it was false confidence. But to have the integrity, to say that I was proud of this or to have the integrity to say that was wrong.
Mims:
And what a fantastic thing to look back at decisions you’ve made and gone, that might have been right, that might have been wrong, but I was true to myself and who I was and what I was doing at the time.
Mims:
Is there anything that you’re currently curious about that you haven’t yet explored?
Crystal Lubrikunt:
I’m just curious of how to translate my feelings and my thoughts and whether or not I have a platform, or have the audacity, as a Cis white person to talk about these things. This is why Drag World was so wonderful. I got to organise a panel talk and talk about this commentary? So it wasn’t necessarily me sat there for an hour telling you how I feel as a Cis white person. It was me sat with creatives of different ethnicities and different walks of life.
Crystal Lubrikunt:
I’m curious about well-being, just general health, and I’ve been very interested in finding out about working out. But one thing I’ve discovered is that some forms of working out on rights for everyone, you can go on like a gazillion runs and you’ll have amazing leg muscles or whatever, but it may not be sorting you out the way that you want it to. Whether it be your headspace or you have a goal or anything. And that’s something that I’ve been really interested in, figuring out what works for me. I think being asked what I’m curious about and lockdown has a very different answer. And self care is what I’m curious about and discovering different things that are good for me.
Mims:
And I think people need to be encouraged to be curious about themselves, because I think there’s this misconception. Well, I’m know who I am now, so there we are.
Crystal Lubrikunt:
It’s frustrating that people aren’t curious. I’m saying that because I just think the world and humans would be so much different and a lot happier, bt especially in love and sexuality, because there are some people that just go ‘No! I know it’s not for me’, but I have still so much more respect for people that go ‘Tried it, not for me.
Crystal Lubrikunt:
I remember, I can’t believe I’m relating…please forgive the fact that I’m relating people’s sexuality and love and livelihood to a pair of lashes. But I’m going to! I remember being in New York with a great friend of mine and hysterically snake tongued Drag Queen Ruby Roo. And I sat there. She goes, do you wear lashes? And I’m like, ‘No’. This is 2016. I’ve been doing Drag for three and a half/four years at this point. And I was like, no, she went, why? I just don’t want to. She was like, ‘Well have you worn them, have you ever put them on?’ I go ‘No.’ She said, ‘You’d have my respect if you tried them. Whereas you’re just obnoxiously saying no. And I’m like, ‘Oh’. And I just put that to everything and I never forget on Kylie Minogue’s 2011 album ‘Aphrodite’. She has a song that was a single called ‘Better than Today.’ And there’s a line in it that says ‘How can you hate something you haven’t tried?’
Mims:
*Gasps* That’s amazing!
Crystal Lubrikunt:
And it’s just like, so I do think there are some circumstances that cannot be used in terms of like illegal substances and murder generally and crime. But in terms of just our own paths in life and things that life is for, which is trying new things and discovery and exploration. It’s true. And I wish people were more curious. And relating it back to drag is when you’re on stage at show, and I talk about this stuff and you see people’s faces light up, especially people that are Cis women or queer non-binary trans people or just run of the mill Cis men of colour. When you say that they can do drag. And they said, ‘Oh wait a minute. You’re so right. I can do drag!’ And I just want people to hold onto that.
Mims:
Is there a part of you that you think Curiosity has killed?
Crystal Lubrikunt:
Oh, my goodness! Curiosity has killed…Jaffa Cakes.
Mims:
How has killed Jaffa Cakes?!
Crystal Lubrikunt:
When I was about seven years old, I dipped a Jaffa Cake in milk and ate it. I don’t ask anyone to ever do that!
Mims:
I mean, a part of me is immediately wanting to go and try it!
Crystal Lubrikunt:
It is so bad.
Mims:
Is it hideous?
Crystal Lubrikunt:
It is hideous because you gotta think that orange jelly chocolate.
Mims:
Oh yeah! Orange and milk.
Crystal Lubrikunt:
And then that cake batter with milk.
Mims:
Does this mean you’ve never eaten a Jaffa Cake since then?
Crystal Lubrikunt:
Since then, I have dabbled. But then I’ve immediately been like, oohh…no!
Mims:
And on that absolute bombshell, we’re going to end the episode! Thank you so much, Crystal, for an eye opening, fascinating interview. Please look, Crystal up on Instagram. Her tag is @crystalubrikunt And don’t miss out on the Justice For Gaga event on the 30th of my, which can be found at http://twitch.tv/justiceforevents. For even more Crystal fabulousness then looked her up on YouTube. She’s releasing videos regularly and they are entertaining as well as wise and deep.
Mims:
The next episode of this podcast will be released in the next few days. Make sure you subscribe so you don’t miss out. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review it. I can’t emphasise enough how helpful it is.
Mims:
Until next time. Remember that as long as you’re curious, there’s adventure ahead.
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Curiosity Killed The... 